💎 From Competition to Connection: Healing My Relationship with Women

For the woman who craves sisterhood but still flinches when she feels unseen — this is for you.
Healing your relationship with women starts with healing your relationship with yourself.

 

 

There was a time when my relationships with women felt… complicated.

I craved sisterhood — the kind of deep, soul-level friendship where you feel seen, safe, and celebrated.
But for years, I kept finding myself in dynamics fueled by comparison, jealousy, and quiet competition.

There were moments when I was the toxic friend — the woman you had to worry about.
I don’t love admitting that, but it’s part of my truth.

Back then, I was operating from unhealed wounds — abandonment, insecurity, the ache of never feeling like I was “enough.”
I confused attention for affection and validation for love.
My need to be chosen sometimes came at the expense of another woman’s peace.

And when I look back, I can see it clearly: I wasn’t trying to hurt anyone.
I was just trying to feel like I mattered.

 

 

For a long time, I carried the guilt of how I showed up in friendships.
I replayed moments where I said something sharp out of jealousy, pulled away out of fear, or let comparison poison what could have been connection.

That guilt was heavy.

But healing has taught me that guilt doesn’t have to be a punishment — it can be an invitation.

When you meet your past with compassion instead of shame, you create space to grow.
I started asking myself questions like:

• What was I really afraid of?

• What did I need that I didn’t know how to ask for?

And the answers changed everything.

 

 

Through therapy, sobriety, and deep inner work, I’ve learned how to be a woman’s woman.

I’ve learned how to uplift women without needing to outshine them.
How to celebrate their beauty, success, and softness — without questioning my own.
How to be part of a collective rise, instead of a silent rivalry.

We all carry insecurities, fears, and shadows.
But when we heal, we stop projecting them onto the women around us.

I never again want to be the woman who makes another question her worth or doubt my loyalty.
That version of me was rooted in pain, not power.

True healing doesn’t mean pretending the past didn’t happen — it means owning it, integrating it, and showing up differently.

 

 

💎 Boundaries Are a Form of Love

One of the greatest lessons I’ve learned in healing my relationship with women is that boundaries don’t block connection — they protect it.

For so long, I thought saying “no” made me difficult or unkind. I worried that expressing my needs would make people pull away. But the truth is, the relationships that are meant for you will never be destroyed by your boundaries — they’ll be deepened by them.

Boundaries are how we teach others how to love us, and how we show that we love ourselves.
They keep resentment from building, misunderstandings from festering, and burnout from silently breaking us down.

When I started setting clear, compassionate boundaries — around my time, energy, and emotional space — my relationships got healthier. I stopped overgiving, overexplaining, and overextending. I stopped saying “yes” when my body was screaming “no.”

And something beautiful happened: the right women stayed. The ones who honored my peace became my people.

Boundaries didn’t make my world smaller.
They made my circle sacred.

 

 

💎 Embodiment Practice: Reclaiming Your Boundaries Through the Body

This short practice will help you reconnect with your body’s natural sense of safety, space, and self-trust.

1) Ground Yourself.
Find a quiet place to stand or sit. Close your eyes and take a slow breath in through your nose, out through your mouth.
Feel your feet on the floor — solid, steady, supported.

2) Create Your Circle.
With your eyes still closed, imagine a glowing light surrounding you in a perfect circle.
This is your energy field — your sacred boundary.
It’s not a wall. It’s a home.

3) Feel Into Your Yes and No.
Gently place a hand on your heart and one on your belly.
Say out loud:
“My yes is sacred.”
“My no is sacred.”
Notice how your body responds. Where do you feel expansion? Where do you feel resistance?

4) Embody Your Power.
Open your eyes. Roll your shoulders back.
Take up space — stretch, move, sway, or shake.
Visualize yourself reclaiming every ounce of energy you’ve ever given away just to stay loved.
Breathe it back into your body.

5) Anchor It.
End by whispering:
“My boundaries are love in motion.”
Take one last deep inhale.
Exhale with softness.

You are allowed to protect your peace.
You are allowed to be powerful and kind.

 

 

So, to any woman I’ve hurt — intentionally or not — I’m sorry.

You deserved friendship without edges.
You deserved honesty without competition.
You deserved a sister who could love you from a place of fullness, not fear.

And that’s who I am now becoming.

Today, I’m surrounded by women who mirror truth, softness, and strength.
Women who hold me accountable, remind me who I am, and love me through every phase of becoming.

I cherish each and every one of them.

Because when women truly heal their relationship with other women —
we all rise higher.

Healing doesn’t erase the past.
It transforms how you show up in the present.

And today, I show up as the woman who chooses love over jealousy, connection over comparison, and sisterhood over silence.

Because this is what rebellion looks like —
healing the parts of us that once hurt others.

With love + rebellion,
Karli 

For the woman learning that real sisterhood begins with self-forgiveness, clear boundaries, and open hearts.

💎